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Personal religiosity, home rituals, participation in adult education, and other indicators of commitment to Jewish life tend to be higher for women than men.A comprehensive 1997 survey by the American Jewish Committee found that the feeling of being Jewish is "very important" for 60 percent of women and 41 percent of men.To fool oneself through this tactic is to lose control over oneself.Romantic love is not always related to real love, especially when it ignores the true personalities and mutual interest of those involved.Sometimes female involvement is even higher, as in Brandeis University's Genesis Program, which attracted 40 girls and 20 boys last summer.This imbalance applies to Israel programs, camps, youth movements, and non-Orthodox day schools, and has tremendous ramifications for the future of Jewish life.But when a widowed Holocaust survivor and close friend of ours wanted to marry another close friend, my wife was supportive; clearly they were not going to have any children. Holding the Jewish community's line on not performing interfaith marriages or the happiness of this couple?If my wife were a member of the Conservative movement's Rabbinical Assembly, even attending this wedding would be grounds for expulsion.

To not enthusiastically embrace this idea would mean that our community is not concerned about the happiness and self-fulfillment of many of its most committed members.But not every interfaith marriage is a threat to Jewish continuity.My wife, who is a rabbi, generally does not officiate at interfaith weddings.Countless sermons have been wasted on this topic, and its specter has launched numerous fund-raising campaigns for institutions that usually have little clue on how to creatively adapt to a changing community.As a result, many of our Jewish leaders and even major philanthropists are finding that their grandchildren are not necessarily being raised Jewishly.

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