A christian dating relationship updating networks on facebook
So, while I only loved Adam more and more, I had expectations about what a relationship should be like, the proper timeline for it, and the most important objective: marriage.
Adam tried his best to meet my needs, but he couldn’t fulfill all of my expectations — there was no way he could understand the full scope of pressures exerted by a culture he wasn’t raised in.
First, there was the aforementioned "I’m right but you just don’t see it yet" period. Our arguments about how the world worked, whether or not I’d actually witnessed "miracles," and the foundations of morality were emotionally charged.
More than one dinner out ended with me crying at the table in frustration, so we started eating at dimly lit restaurants. It was my family, the only community I had known, my education, and my profession, but it simply wasn’t for the person I loved. Luckily, Adam’s patience was just as strong as his stubbornness, and he put up with Sunday services, my parents prophesying over him, and the celibacy that I had committed to as a 13-year-old (despite the fact that I’d lost my purity ring, oops).
— parts of me also longed for the comforts of being inside the community and for Adam to understand the importance of that, too. Even though Facebook posts about how God had blessed so-and-so with the #mostamazingwifeever #blessed #createdforme made me vomit in my mouth a little, I also secretly wanted these small badges that meant I had arrived at the vaunted status of "coupled" in the evangelical culture.
These markers had nothing to do with the Bible (and FWIW, I’m pretty sure Jesus wouldn’t have been on Instagram), but in the culture of my faith group, they were gold.
By 27, I had been to over 50 weddings, while Adam had been to one.
But in the end, it felt phony, and even morally wrong, to him.Adam was neither of those things and he definitely wasn’t a Christian.Adam was raised a secular humanist, a "nonreligous lifestance" that deemphasizes the role a God-like entity plays in a person’s life and emphasizes making good personal decisions.Each time we felt these differences, the weight of disillusionment became heavier.Sure, we were both college-educated Americans, but the people in my community got married early — like, ring-by-senior-year-of-college early — and then proceeded to have three kids before Adam’s friends could finish their doctoral dissertations.